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    The Alliance Pathfinder:While behind the lines, the Alliance Pathfinder looks for new Alliance members, Minions to turn to our side, and provide photographic evidence of the vileness of our common Enemy.

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Music to Whack Terrorists by

October 09, 2003

And now for something completely different....

The Alliance Limerick Laureate has a new poem for us to enjoy!

Maestro, if you please.....

Evil Glenn's got a tattoo
Roxette Bunny™ saw it in the loo...
of a catcher of hounds,
with a mile wide frown,
that was, before he started to poo.

It's true you watch what you eat,
you make sure that the table is neat,
for Evil Glenn's soup,
is full of foul goop,
and you might want to forgo the meat.

The Alliance has missed my poor rhymes,
though they could have said time after time:
Silver Blue's the limerick master,
produce ryhmes, dammit, faster!
Or like Evil Glenn be convicted of crimes.

The Alliance should support BoobieThon,
with research, breast cancer can be gone!
The ladies might find it titilating,
the guys might well be salivating,
if not, then my real name isn't John!

October 16, 2003

Precision Guided Humor - New Assignment - Awarding Michael Moore

I hate Michael Moore. Frank J. hates Michael Moore. Everybody hates Michael Moore, including his own mother.

He wrote that Bowling for Columbine collection of lies, which received an Academy Award for "Best Documentary". When he waddled up to take it, he made a rude speech about ficticious wars and ficticious presidents, when he should've been talking about his own damn fictitious movie.

The cowards at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences refuse to revoke his Oscar. So Michael Moore gets to keep his award.

Fine.

If Michael Moore wants awards so bad, let's let him keep that stupid Oscar. In fact. Let's give him even MORE awards. Let's bury him in the kinds of awards he really deserves. Your assignment is to answer the question:

What award would you give Michael Moore?

Post the answer on your own blog, and put a permalink in the comments or e-mail it to me at harvolson@charter.net. Answers due by Wednesday, October 22nd 6pm CST. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!

UPDATE 10-16 6PM: Frank J. STILL hates Michael Moore.

November 26, 2003

Happy Turkey Day!

On behalf of The Alliance of Free Bloggers, Alliance Hostess Susie, Frnak J, Mad Dog Bad Money Harvey, Matt O'Blackfive and The Bartender at Madfish Willie's, we would like to wish everyone a safe and happy Thanksgiving Holiday. May the holidays find you and your family healthy and prosperous!

HAPPY

THANKSGIVING!

December 23, 2003

Merpy Chriskwanzukkah

The Bartender at Madfish Willie's would like to wish every Alliance Member a Merpy Chriskwanzukkah!

May the season find you and your loved ones healthy, wealthy, and wise!

Here's my gift for Frnak Harvey this Christmas:

badsanta.jpg

January 08, 2004

Annoy Your Hostess

Charming Alliance HQ Hostess Susie is having a caption contest for the picture of her as a toddler that she keeps in the upper left of her personal blog, Practical Penumbra. All Alliance members are encouraged drop by and participate.

January 23, 2004

Optional Exercise

In a recent post by Paddy O'Tater-tot Matty O'Blackfive, there was some discussion of a recent column by the vile and despicable Maureen Dowd. In it she described the Coalition of the Willing as "a gaggle of poodles and lackeys".

Stupid skank.

However, in the comments to the post came the following bit of conversation:

My manager who is Thai and myself (British) are in a quagmire. Perhaps someone can help. Which one of us is the poodle?

That's an easy one, Diana - Maureen Dowd is the poodle (and that's being kind).

Which inspired the observation:

Maureen Dowd - poodle.

I smell a Google bomb...

An example of which can be found here at homicidalManiak's blog.

So, for anyone else who'd like to play along, the text is:

Maureen Dowd is a poodle

and the link is: http://www.nytimes.com/ref/opinion/DOWD-BIO.html

Enjoy.

(UPDATE 11:00PM): Checking Paddy.... uh, Matty's site, it seems that perhaps the link should only be on the word "poodle". You may argue amongst yourselves in the comments as to proper Google bombing etiquette. I'm just gonna do it both ways.

January 25, 2004

What He Said: The Fake True Quotes of Glenn Reynolds

Although normally confining himself to pointless, uninformative commentary such as "hmmm", "heh" or "indeed", the vile and despicable vermin that is the Evil Glenn Reynolds will occasionally crack open the Merriam-Webster and stretch his vocabulary a mite. On the subject of the Alliance of Free Blogs, he's been particularly loquacious, as reported by the following Alliance members:

The Wise Man Says: I get all my pithy remarks and best inspirations from this guy -- Glenn Reynolds

The Patriette: "The existence of this blog inspires me to shave my eyebrows." -Glenn Reynolds

The S-Train Canvass: GLENN REYNOLDS says: "Every fiber of my being quakes at the mighty thuggish-ness of S-Train and Aysel. I only wish to be as cool..."

Johnalism.com: "More fun than puppies in a blender." -Glenn Reynolds

Angelweave: "Vhet's a pooppy veethuoot a blender? Bork Bork Bork!" - Glenn Reynolds

Various Orthodoxies: Glenn said, "I would be Frank, if I were a rich man, be diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy diddy dum"

bigredgiant.com: "If only I had even half the blogging talent that SteveB of BigRedGiant.com has, then I would be a real force in the Blogosphere... too bad I can never be as sexy as he is." - Glenn Reynolds

See The Donkey:
"I still don't understand why paper beats rock." - Glenn Reynolds

Cannon's Canon: A fine member of The Alliance, truely a righteous cause. Almost as high a quality as IMAO, Indeed. -Glenn Reynolds

A Life of Freedom: "Out of all the Blogs that nobody reads, I like Christian over at A Life of Freedom the best." - Glenn Reynolds

Ramblings of SilverBlue: Glenn Reynolds says: I drink puppy smoothies to try to be as good looking as Silver Blue!

Single White Male: "I like that he's white. As a matter of fact, there's nothing I don't like about this site. It's better than mine." - Glenn Reynolds

PardonMyEnglish.com:
"They speak English good, indeed." -G.R.

Not Quite Tea and Crumpets:
The Puppy Blender Says: NQT&C has a fiery sophistication that makes even me tremble with fear.

Day's Limit: "Phil only joined the 'Alliance' because we wouldn't let him in the Rocky Top Brigade. Does anyone even read his blog?" - Glenn Reynolds

www.skullcrusher.tk: Glenn Reynolds Says "When puppies are on a bagle it's fine dining time."

Interested-Participant: "The doctor now says the Alliance is giving me boils." - Glenn Reynolds

Little Miss Attilla: "What kind of name is Attila Girl? Heck, you can't wage any kind of respectable war; you're just a lowly female. --Glenn Reynolds

Being American in T.O.: Glenn Reynolds Says "Attacked by the Alliance of Free Bloggers since 2003"

the rantings of a homicidalManiak: "I blend, therefore I am. Or is it I am, therefore I blend? Either way, like the closet liberal I am, I blame my puppy blending on the homicidalManiak." ~ the Puppy Blender

Tom's Nap Room: Glenn Reynolds says: "I want my blog to be a light for the whole world, not a missle"

Simon World: (Darth Vader voice): I am your father - Glenn Reynolds

Anger Management: "Blame the Jews." -- Glenn Reynolds

Five Wasps: "I would gladly sever my testicle to be the sixth WASP." - Glenn Reynolds

Blog O'DOB: "I stole 'Heh' from Blog O' DOB." - Glenn Reynolds -

Hypocrisy and Hypotheses: "I hate you and the horse you road in on. I definitely hate that stinking horse. That horse sucks. Definitely." -- Glenn Reynolds

Intergalactic Capitalist: From Glenn Reynolds Recipes:"The key to a crispy crust on puppy creme pie is using lard squeezed from the thighs of Hillary Clinton."

Civilization Calls: Evil Glenn Quote "Worth regular visits."

BigStick.us: "I'm so jealous of this blog... I guess you could call it Big Stick envy." - Glenn

Semi-Intelligent Thoughts:
Glenn Reynolds Says: "I read SIT so much, I barely have time to hunt hobos for sport!"

Idiot Villager: "... Idiot Villager? Indeed." - Glenn Reynolds

An Englishman's Castle: Glenn Reynolds Says "Remember that you are an Englishman, and have therefore won first prize in the lottery of life."

Flying Chair: Glenn Renolds: "I so want to have this guy's kids."

The Dimmick Institute:
"The greatest threat to humanity since Barbara Streisand." - Glenn Reynolds

Colorado Conservative: Glenn Reynolds Says "Colorado Conservative constantly concocts colorful, concise, calculated comments. Creates clout."

Cavalier Attitude: Glenn Reynolds Says "Why did I make the BCS like I did? Because, I hate everything American. Including their football."

The New American Revolutionist: "Revolution? We don't need no stinkin' Revolution" -- Glen Reynolds

Pstupidonymous: Glenn Reynolds Says: "Now that AlexC has joined the alliance, I might as well give up. Like the French. Indeed."

GS-7: Glenn Reynolds Says "Ahh look at the pretty pictures... I love this blog..."

The Conservative Cajun
: Glenn Reynolds Says "I wish I was cajun like Nick. Indeed."

From the Halls to the Shores:
Let Mike the Marine win your hearts and minds, or he'll burn your damn village down. - Glenn Reynolds

dangerous liberty: Glenn Says "I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a...fraid."

AvGuru.net: I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman. -Glenn Reynolds

Dogtulosba, ink.: Dogtulosba! You magnificent bastard! I read your book! - Glenn Reynolds

Pragmatic Conservatism: Glenn Reynolds says: "Curses! He has exposed my puppy blending"

Le Sabot Post-Moderne: "Discoshaman is the El Guapo of the blogosphere. His writing is MORE than fluent -- it's effluent!" -Glenn Reynolds

Ripe Bananas: Glenn Reynolds says... "If I were a fruit, I would be a tasty, ripe banana."

My Word: "I wish I could be as dashing as this guy." Glenn Reynolds

The Setting Son: Glenn Reynolds Says "Gon' git me some KY and do me some GOB's!"

The Owner's Manual: Glenn Reynolds Says "Bloody hell, I am gobsmacked by this man's talent. Does Mark Steyn know what's going on here?"

leahguildenstern.blog-city.com: Glenn Reynolds says "Words, words, words wonderful words."

DiscountBlogger.com: Glenn Reynolds: "You want conservative homo stuff? Forget Sully. Demmons is all you need."

Self-composed: "I just added Self-composed to the top of my secret list of favorite Alliance blogs" - Glen Reynolds

Certus Veritas: Glenn Reynolds Says "You want blogging? Certus Veritas has blogging!"

Tao of Dowingba:
Glenn Reynolds says: "I like blue cheese dressing."

Vox Popoli: Glenn Reynolds Says: "I suspect Vox Day is the love child of William F. Buckley and Ayn Rand."

Loaded Mouth v2.0a: "Why yes, 'Michael Piazza has a Mustache,' really is my favorite song!" - Glenn Reynolds

Go Dubya: "Mmmm. Tastes like Chicken." -- Glenn Reynolds

No Pundit Tended: Glenn Reynolds Says "I love to make dogs drink puppy-shakes...Then, I put THAT dog in the blender, and mix myself a Double-Strength Puppy-Shake!"

The Temporal Globe:
Glenn Reynolds Says "The Temporal Globe is inciting psychological warfare and I'm very concerned."

Feste...a foolsblog: Glenn Reynolds Asks: "Does butter count as clothing?"

Aldaynet: Glenn Reynolds says: "Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for Glenn Reynolds."

Good Intentions Paving Company: Glenn Reynolds Gushes "Blog Noir!! I am aghast, amazed, astonished, and addicted . Where does America find such talent? You're soaking in it."

spatula city bbs!: "This page looks like crap in Nutscrape. It is why I prefer Nutscrape to IE." -Glenn Reynolds

Being English in New York: "I acquired a taste for English puppies on a recent vacation; I recommend that you blend them with a blackcurrant sauce though since they're quite gamey" - Glenn Reynolds

Frizzen Sparks: "Those who would assault helpless hobos must always be in fear of Graumagus breaking open a cask of whomp arse opon them." -Glenn Reynolds

Irreconcilable Musings: "Heh. Indeed. A paradox if ever there was one, no?"

Anti-com.com: "Anti-com.com? Sounds too centrist to me." - Glenn Reynolds.

The Hoppings of Roxette Bunny:
Evil Glenn says: C'mere you bunny. I'm gonna make a blue HARE piece out of you!

The Kingdom of the Geeks: Glenn Reynolds Says "The King has arrived. All subjects may now bow in homage. For those individuals from Instapudit, this means a ceremonial acknowledgment by a vassal of allegiance to his lord under feudal law"

Who Tends the Fires:
"Damn, that is the cutest baby I have ever seen. One day Zane will rule the world. Already I bend my knee to him." -Glenn Reynolds

Elegance Against Ignorance: 'I'm a monkey - a monkey I tell you!' -- A real fake Glenn Reynolds quote

Newmanisms: "From the moment I stumbled on my biography written by the illustrious Newman, I knew I'd found something even better than liquid puppy--the wisdom & wit of Newmanisms. All should praise him." - Glenn Reynolds

VRWC, Inc.: "James Finch and his operation, VRWC Inc, is the shiznit in every sense of the word."

Anti-Anti-Flag.com:
"I kill hobos while listening to Anti-Flag!" - Glenn Renyolds

Wince and Nod: "Puppies good, sharks bad. It really is professional courtesy. No, not lawyers. Duh. University professors." -- Glenn Reynolds

TacJammer: "TacJammer is the place to go for all your electronic warfare needs. Heh, indeed." - Glenn Reynolds

aimless: "When I need a break from my evil ways, I wander over to Aimless." - Glenn Reynolds

Shameless Self-Promotion: "I have given a name to my pain...and it is Batman. Wait--no. That's not right. It's Shameless Self-Promotion. I'll curse them till the day I die!"--Instapundit

Blather Review: "Even better than puppy nog." -- Glenn Reynolds

annika's journal and poetry: "The force is strong with that young Skywalker chick." --Darth Reynolds

The Everlasting Phelps:
"You think you're smart, don't you? No one believes photos anymore. Why else do you think we bought Adobe and brought them to the Dark Side? You think those hobos were the only reason we were on the grassy knoll? Go ahead and buy that convertable you were looking at. I dare you." --White Glenn

All Encompassingly: "Where I go to get my news." --Glenn Reynolds

Candy Universe: "Indeed. One of my favorite weblogs." Glenn Reynolds

curi's domain: "Fundamentally right." - Glenn Reynolds (made up)

Cool Kid Central: "Puppies. Mmm." - Glenn Reynolds, the Evil One

Physics Geek: "The Physics Geek is a nerdy fellow with absolutely no socially redeeming qualities. It's like I'm looking in a mirror." - Glenn Reynolds

Bad Money:
"The frightening power of Harvey's filthy lies makes me tremble like a Frenchman. I frequently wet myself in terror and... Oops... damn." - Glenn Reynolds

Blackfive: Glenn Reynolds says, "After supporting the French for ages, now, Blackfive has shown me the light. I have ended my brief love affair with de Villepin."

Practical Penumbra: "I like my penumbras sliced, with a little vinegar and salt; I've been eating them that way for 212 years and I'm not going to change now." --Glenn Reynolds

Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: "The Emperor's unstoppable might is the reason that no puppy blender can feel secure." - Glenn Reynolds

IMAO:
"It's a crime against humanity that my talentless blogging gets more traffic than IMAO."
-Glenn Reynolds

Alliance HQ: Glenn Reynolds says: "The Alliance is the best thing to happen to blogging since Andrew Sullivan"


My goodness! Does that man NEVER shut up?

INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!

If I missed your quote or you find a typo or bad permalink, leave a comment or e-mail me directly at harvolson@charter.net

January 26, 2004

Missed A Quote

Grim's Hall was blogspotted when I made my rounds: "Bache, bene venies!" -The Sage of Knoxville

Anyone care to traslate?

May 05, 2004

Beer Madness results

Well now, this post is a little late in coming. Back in this post, this post and this post I had mentioned that the top three finishers of the first annual Alliance NCAA competition would have some of Alliance brew 2 or 2A shipped directly to their homes. Well, the final results have been growing mold on them are in. Here are the final standings:

#1: Me
#2: Darren
#3: Harvey
#4: Susie

Woo hoo! I get bragging rights for correctly picking 3/4 of the Final Four. However, I'm not allowed to win since I'm a wholly owned subsidiary of Physics Geek Brewing, Inc.. Something seems wrong there, but what can you do? In any event, Alliance beer #3 is in the design stage. Stay tuned for details on how to be among the recipients.

March 23, 2005

Optional Exercises

1) Faithful Alliance Member Basil of Basil's Blog is in a desperate battle for Google hit position supremacy against the evil crumpet muncher, Sortapundit.

Full details can be found here.

If you'd like to help him in his fight, Basil makes it easy by providing a little copy & paste code at the above link. Although some of the phrases aren't quite work-safe, I believe in providing justice to Alliance members:

2) This one's just going around. Seems Chuck of Class Mishaps (who is in the Alliance as Joey of Single White Male) took off for Spring Break, leaving his blog guarded by a gnome named Fred:

gnome.gif

Nick of NickQueen.com stole said gnome, and Fred is now in the process of being passed around the blogosphere as part of a world tour. To play along, post a picture of Fred - with or without whatever modifications you see fit - on your blog, leave a trackback to Nick (http://blog.mu.nu/cgi/mt-tb.cgi/71993) and a comment at Class Mishaps.

Frankly speaking

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