The Alliance

Monday Linky Stuff

Your Precision Guided Humor Assignment:

What can Osama Bin Laden do to make his next video tape more entertaining?

Is due by 8pm Wednesday, January 5th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Best of Me Symphony #57 is up at The Owner's Manual. Dave Barry theme this week. Not to be confused with Washington D.C.'s crackhead/mayor.

Carnival of the Cats #41 is up at MartiniPundit. The Carnival of the Cats is sometimes a travelling show, and Laurence is currently in search of future hosts. Drop him a line if you're interested - laurence-at-isfullofcrap.com
Full details at the new domain, www.carnivalofthecats.com

Carnival of the Capitalists #64 is up at Management Craft.

Christian Carnival #51 is coming to Weapon of Mass Distraction. Entries due by Tuesday at midnight. Submission guidelines are as follows:

To enter, your post should be of a Christian nature, but this does not exclude
ones that are political (or otherwise) in nature from a Christian point of view.

Send submissions to: derek-at-gilberthouse.org
Please put "Christian Carnival" in the subject line and provide the following:

Title of your Blog
URL of your Blog
Title of your post
URL linking to that post
Short description of the post

James of Outside the Beltway hosts a more-or-less daily linkfest called the Beltway Traffic Jam. Go to the most recent Traffic Jam post in the Traffic Jam category, and send a trackback to get entered in the next edition. If you're ping-impaired, you can use the standalone trackback form, a link to which is conveniently located at the bottom of the Traffic Jam post.

Showcase - a chance for new bloggers to get some exposure. If your blog is 3 months old or less, you can submit a link to your best post to simon-at-showcase.mu.nu at any time, and it'll get a free week's worth of exposure. It's a great way to get your beginner's talent discovered. See this post for details. For blogs that are too old, you should consider checking out the entries, since grateful new bloggers tend to reciprocate post links with permalinks.

Blogosphere Political Compass Project - Sandor of The Zoo is graphing the political positions of all the bloggers who are willing to take a short quiz and send him the results. Details on how you can get a link out of this can be found at the BPCP home page.

Filthy Lies

Sir George of The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler wonders if there's a connection between Evil Glenn's activities and the growth of the blogosphere.

Innocent Civilian Steven of Hog on Ice has a video of Evil Glenn celebrating New Year's Eve with a musical number. I had no idea Glenn's eyebrow was so talented. WARNING: Earworm alert. This could be more infectious than llamas.

Wednesday Linky Stuff - UPDATED 1-5-05 9:30PM

Your Filthy Lie assignment:

What would Evil Glenn do if he won $100 million in the lottery?

Is due by 8pm CST Friday, January 7th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Christian Carnival #51 is up at Patriot Paradox.

UPDATE 1-5-05 9:30PM - The scheduled host of the Christian Carnival, Weapon of Mass Distraction now has the Christian Carnival up.

Carnival of the Vanities #120 is up at Vessel of Honour.

Bonfire of the Vanities #79 is up at Incite.

Carnival of the Capitalists posts due by 2pm Saturday. See here for submission address & guidelines.

Carnival of the Recipes #20 will be at Physics Geek. Entries are due by Midnight Thursday. Submit to recipe.carnival(at)gmail(dot)com.

Showcase - a chance for new bloggers to get some exposure. If your blog is 3 months old or less, you can submit a link to your best post to simon-at-showcase.mu.nu at any time, and it'll get a free week's worth of exposure. It's a great way to get your beginner's talent discovered. See this post for details. For blogs that are too old, you should consider checking out the entries, since grateful new bloggers tend to reciprocate post links with permalinks.

NOTE: The Showcase is on temporary holiday hiatus, but you can still submit your entries, which will be posted as soon as Simon returns.

Blogosphere Political Compass Project - Sandor of The Zoo is graphing the political positions of all the bloggers who are willing to take a short quiz and send him the results. Details on how you can get a link out of this can be found at the BPCP home page.

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Boosting Osama's Ratings (UPDATED 1-5-05 11:30PM)

Here in the states, most people are anxiously awaiting yet another edition of American Idol.

Here at the Alliance, we're awaiting the next edition of Arabian Idiot, aka Osama's Next Video.

Now, because Osama's are usually packed with all the thrill & charisma of a John Kerry speech, the good folk of the Alliance have offered him some advice on how to trim the yawn factor:

UPDATE 1-5-05 11:30PM - Hyscience enlists Dan Rather's helps as professional BS consultant to give such tips as:
First of all, hire Michael Moore to come up with a script for his videos - since no-one is better at distorting both truth and film-footage for the purpose of causing harm to America - ah, Osama's greatest ambition.

UPDATE 1-5-05 11:30PM - Chris of The Real Ordeal suggests he might try the "reality TV" approach, with such possible features as:
Survivor 218: Al-Qaieda Cave, of course! Like all other reality TV shows, this will have pathetic little games between the contestants, like "find water, so you can take your first bath since May 2003, and your stench won't give your position away".

CatHouse Chat has an array of options, including infomercials & puppy blending. I guess the gist here is "be more evil"

Mercenary Sniper J of Quibbles & Bits dusts off his scope and takes a single shot, right to the heart of the matter.

Laurence of The Dead Pool seems to be suggesting that Big Bird will soon be joining Evil Bert in the Al Muppet Martyrs Brigade.

Gullyborg of Resistance is Futile! goes classic with a Top Ten list, including:
10) Give audience a preview of what the 72 virgins look like… in bikinis!
9) Trim full-length beard into a fashionable, yet diabolical, goatee.
8) Invite Michael Moore for an exclusive one-on-one interview… and then behead him!

Oddybobo of Bobo Blogger takes 5 swings at it and bats .800

Ogre of Ogre's Politics & Views made, ironically, a flash video to answer the question. Safe for work, but contains nightmare fuel nonetheless.

I (Harvey of Bad Example) think it might help things out if his video contained some Fun Facts About Osama Bin Laden, like:
Wants to be Saddam's 72nd virgin.

Still bitter that Michael Moore edged him out for first prize at Cannes.

Claims to this day that the "goat incident" was consensual.

I don't know if Bin Laden will actually take any of this advice, but I figure it's a moot point, since his next video will probably be footage of him getting MOAB'ed.

SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!

If I missed your entry or there's a typo or broken permalink, please leave a comment, or e-mail me directly at harvolson@charter.net

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: Generous Non-Americans

Some mouthy bureaucrat at the UN called America "stingy" for contributing a "mere" $15 million to aid tsunami victims.

Even after that number got bumped to $35 million, the grubby little asscrack didn't bother apologizing.

Two can play at this. Your Precision Guided Humor Assignment this week is to answer the question:

What did the GENEROUS people give to aid tsunami victims?

Do some investigative distorting reporting and let us know what the usual suspects are giving to put a fig-leaf over their pathetic lip-service to charity help the needy.

Post the answer at your own blog and leave a link in the comments to this post, leave a trackback, or e-mail the permalink directly to me at harvolson@charter.net. Entries due by 8pm CDT Wednesday, January 12th and I'll post the round-up Wednesday night. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!

Friday Linky Stuff

Carnival of Recipes #21 is up at Physics Geek.

The Best of Me Symphony #58 will be at The Owner's Manual. Entry deadline is midnight Sunday. E-mail to gcruse-at-netscape.com with subject line "Best of Me Symphony".

Leslie's Omnibus will be hosting the next Carnival of the Cats (#42). Submit your post containing a picture of a cat or a Reasonable Facsimilie of a Cat (RFOAC) by 5pm Sunday to cats-at-isfullofcrap.com See the Carnival of the Cats home page for details.

Bonfire of the Vanities is looking for your WORST post of the week. Send entries to bonfire-at-wizbangblog.com by 6pm Monday

Carnival of the Vanities #121 will to be at Multiple Mentality. Submit your best post by 5pm Tuesday to: thelistener-at-gmail.com with COTV #121 as the subject. See this post for details.

Showcase - a chance for new bloggers to get some exposure. If your blog is 3 months old or less, you can submit a link to your best post to simon-at-showcase.mu.nu at any time, and it'll get a free week's worth of exposure. It's a great way to get your beginner's talent discovered. See this post for details. For blogs that are too old, you should consider checking out the entries, since grateful new bloggers tend to reciprocate post links with permalinks.

NOTE: The Showcase is on temporary holiday hiatus, and Simon's looking for someone to help fill in as caretaker. Stop over & drop him a line if you can lend a hand.

Blogosphere Political Compass Project - Sandor of The Zoo is graphing the political positions of all the bloggers who are willing to take a short quiz and send him the results. Details on how you can get a link out of this can be found at the BPCP home page.

Filthy Lie Round-up: Evil Glenn Wins The Lottery

"God does not play dice with the universe"
- Albert Einstein

"Snake eyes? Me damn it!"
- God

Well, it looks like God threw the dreaded double ones this time, because Evil Glenn won $100 million in the lottery.

How's he going to blow his loot? As usual, the Alliance has the answers:

Oddybobo of Boboblog left this answer in the comments:
Spawn an alternate alliance in order to out alliance the alliance?

Or simply buy road banners in places near our hometowns in which to gloat that he won and we didn't "nanny nanny boo boo!"

Silly Oddy, you're supposed to post it at YOUR place so I can give you a link that'll count in your Ecosystem ranking!

John of Tryontheglasses.com think he's going to do what EVERYONE does when they have millions of dollars laying around - try to run an e-mail scam.

Ogre of Ogre's Politics & Views does some exhaustive research on how Evil Glenn... er... Glennn
would spend the money

Sally of Whimsy Capricious says that it involves karaoke and a little body-popping.

I (Harvey of Bad Example) put together 4 clues in my best CSI fashion, and come to a startling conclusion.

Although these are all fine guesses, I suspect Evil Glenn's first action will be to launder the money by suing himself for palimony and collecting the cash in lawyer's fees.

Crafty devil.

INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!

If I missed your entry or there's a typo or broken permalink, please leave a comment, or e-mail me directly at harvolson@charter.net

New Filthy Lie Assignment: Evil Glenn - US Attorney General?

Somewhere between "amusing" and "disturbing" lies the word to describe what it's like to watch the Alberto Gonzales confirmation hearings. On the one hand, he's a conservative, so the Democrats have to hate him. On the other hand, he's Hispanic, so they feel the have to pander to his minorityness.

The end result is senators blinking confusedly and tilting their heads like Harry Mudd's android women.

Poor things.

I can't help but wonder if it might be easier on them if there were a different nominee for Attorney General.

Like Glenn Reynolds, who is a tech-savvy lawyer with good connections to the blogosphere.

On the other hand, he's also a puppy-blending, Satan-worshipping, hobo-murderer, which probably won't look good on his resume.

So it's a tough call that will require some research. Your Filthy Lie Assignment this week is to answer the question:

Should Evil Glenn be nominated for US Attorney General? Why or why not?

Submit your links in the comments to this post, leave a trackback, or e-mail the permalink directly to me at harvolson@charter.net. Entries due by 8pm CDT Friday, January 14th and I'll post the round-up Friday night. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!

Filthy Lie

Basil of Basil's Blog has an encounter with Evil Glenn during which he discovers that Reynolds is responsible for more human misery than global warming and William Hung put together.

Monday Linky Stuff

Your Precision Guided Humor Assignment:

What did the GENEROUS people give to aid tsunami victims?

Is due by 8pm Wednesday, January 12th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Best of Me Symphony #58 is up at The Owner's Manual. David Horowitz theme this week.

Carnival of the Cats #42 is up at Leslie's Omnibus. The Carnival of the Cats is sometimes a travelling show, and Laurence is currently in search of future hosts. Drop him a line if you're interested - laurence-at-isfullofcrap.com. Full details at the new domain, www.carnivalofthecats.com

Carnival of the Capitalists #65 is up at Odyssey of the Mind.

Christian Carnival #52 is coming to IntolerantElle.com. Entries due by Tuesday at midnight. Submission guidelines are as follows:

To enter, your post should be of a Christian nature, but this does not exclude
ones that are political (or otherwise) in nature from a Christian point of view.

Send submissions to: elle [at] intolerantelle dot com
Please put "Christian Carnival" in the subject line and provide the following:

Title of your Blog
URL of your Blog
Title of your post
URL linking to that post
Short description of the post

James of Outside the Beltway hosts a more-or-less daily linkfest called the Beltway Traffic Jam. Go to the most recent Traffic Jam post in the Traffic Jam category, and send a trackback to get entered in the next edition. If you're ping-impaired, you can use the standalone trackback form, a link to which is conveniently located at the bottom of the Traffic Jam post.

Showcase - a chance for new bloggers to get some exposure. If your blog is 3 months old or less, you can submit a link to your best post to simon-at-showcase.mu.nu at any time, and it'll get a free week's worth of exposure. It's a great way to get your beginner's talent discovered. See this post for details. For blogs that are too old, you should consider checking out the entries, since grateful new bloggers tend to reciprocate post links with permalinks.

NOTE: Simon is currently entertaining the thought of turning the Showcase into a travelling Carnival-type round-up, and is seeking input on whether this is (or isn't) a good idea. Let him know what you think.

Blogosphere Political Compass Project - Sandor of The Zoo is graphing the political positions of all the bloggers who are willing to take a short quiz and send him the results. Details on how you can get a link out of this can be found at the BPCP home page.